Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Hush, Hush, Sweet Husband

When women marry gay men, they should count it as a blessing. Seriously. They’re getting free fashion and decorating advice. The sex is never more kinky than missionary-style once per month. And if you’re Fran Drescher, it completely revitalizes your sitcom career. Sounds like a win-win to us.

Of course, we’re not the ones caught up in all the drama. And trust us, it doesn’t always end happily. The wife of the gay husband we banged tried to turn her ordeal into a popular boardgame, but sales of Didn’t Have A Clue were utterly anemic. Nobody seemed to ever guess it was Colonel Mustard at the back door with the cucumber.

Writing a book probably would’ve been a better idea, but too late, another woman has beaten her to the punch.

In a recent memoir, Can’t Think Straight, from Forbes magazine writer Kiri Blakely, the author produces a candid, gut-wrenchingly funny read about her own 10-year marriage crumbling down around her. When her husband announces to her one evening that he’s been fantasizing about oral sex with other men, she thinks he’s joking. Or at the very worst, only dreaming of being on the receiving end. That she could handle. Thoughts of giving oral sex, well, that was a dealbreaker, ladies.

The book chronicles her journey with hilarious insight about the coming-out process and what happened after the split. For those of us on the outside, it’s a great tale. But we assume for the thousands of others on either side of a marriage that’s built on lies or hopes of changing their sexuality, it could actually be a great how-to guide for learning to live and love again.

Perhaps Michele Bachmann or her husband Marcus could learn something from reading the book. Just maybe.

Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-up Love
$10.91 on amazon.com
$9.99 on iTunes