Are you the guy with his hands in his pockets on the side of the nightclub dance floor? Does your grandmother mock you for your two left feet when she seduces you with a tango? Is “the cabbage patch” the only move in your groove-thing arsenal?
Then you need help. Professional, Abdul-less dance instruction that could turn you from mere homortal to super heromosexual. (Sorry, we’ve been drinking. Our way with words is slurring.)
Well, the Learn Club Dance DVD series is here to help you finally shake your moneymaker and receive more than out-of-circulation pennies. The videos are specifically designed for women and straight men, but we tried them out and found that the tips are universal. So what if they don’t delve into the fine nuances of which guy leads. Or which lesbian gets the water bucket dumped on her.
And though the production quality lies somewhere between public-access television and Avatar, the instruction is solid. How fun would it be to invite some friends over and learn a few smooth moves before hip-hop flash-mobbing down the boulevard to the 7-11 for victory quarts of beer?
Gay bars may never be the same again if we all learn more than the arms-in-the-air-jump-up-and-down dance that has been ubiquitous for decades. (You know, the dance that everyone does before the confetti canons shower us with colorful paper at the end of It’s Raining Men.)
The gay dance renaissance is long overdue.
$37.00 – $39.945
www.learnclubdance.com
