Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Singles Party

If you show up in a bar with your own booze, the owners aren’t typically too fond of that. But arriving with your own mixer – what can they possibly say?

As a micro-society of handsome sex machines, one of our biggest enemies is the dreaded calorie. We work out hours each day so we can drink all night, so the last thing we want is to slam back a dozen cocktails filled with carbs and unnecessary calories.

That’s why we’re so excited to have discovered Zilch sugar-free cocktail mixers. They come in cute little packets about the size of a condom. (So be careful not to accidentally sprinkle margarita mix on your privates before sex, or drop a rubber in a glass of rum.)

We’ve printed the statistics here before, but we think they’re worth repeating. A single eight-ounce margarita can pack a crazy 540 calories and a whopping 50 carbs. Just think, one of those giant 32-ounce schooners of marg magnificence can equal more than your entire daily caloric intake. And who can stop at just one?

But moderation is no longer our mantra.

That’s because there are two really great things about Zilch. One, it’s portable so you can go to any bar or restaurant, order a tequila shot and glass of water and make a margarita right at your table for a fraction of the price. And absolutely zero calories and carbs.

But the most exciting part? They don’t taste diet AT ALL. We’ve written about low- and no-calorie drink mixes before and often times they taste sweeter than something with real sugar. Zilch is precisely the right balance of sweet, tart and something we want in our mouth all day.

Just like the perfect man.

$4.99 per 10-pack
Available in lime margarita or strawberry daiquiri