Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Make Smoothies, Not War

After a long summer of frozen drinks by the pool, we have a graveyard of blenders in our backyard that weren’t up to the challenge of a couple gay drunks and all our gay drunken friends. Most margaritas are accompanied by the smell of fresh fried tortilla chips. At our house, they came with the smell of burning motors and sparks shooting out the sides of our world-weary blenders.

But that’s all history now that we’ve upgraded to a Ninja Pulse, named after mercenary Japanese warriors known more for their assassination skills than whipping up a batch of homemade Tollhouse cookies or a protein shake before heading off to war.

Yet the name is fitting, because like many of our real-life ninja friends, this device is tiny, powerful and a master of disguise. It looks small and unassuming, but it’s surprisingly strong. Who knew something hawked on TV infomercials could actually work so well?

This Ninja works hard to bring strawberries to their knees, make bread dough beg for mercy, and turn ice cubes into tiny pieces of their former selves. You can make a large batch of drinks, salsa or pureed food for your human centipede in the 40-ounce processing bowl, or mix individual frozen beverages in the two 16-ounce blending cups with drink lids for on-the-go boozehounds.

Most importantly, Ninja Pulse really could replace our old blender, food processor and stand mixer, which is great.

More room for tequila in our cabinets.