Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Dirty, Dirty, Dirty

When autumn blows in and the air gets a nice crisp chill to it, we think of one thing and one thing only: stiffer drinks to keep us warm. OK, maybe there are a couple other stiff things we’d put on our short list, too.

Fall isn’t about cocktails with lots of fruity juices and sugary mixers. Save those for summer if you ask us. Instead, cold nights mean scotch served neat, a shot of tequila, or our favorite go-to blood-pressure raiser – a classic dirty martini.

And we like ours so dirty Herman Cain has to hold a press conference to defend it.

But making a dirty martini usually means draining jar after jar of olives to get to all that liquid briny goodness for our libations. Then you’re left with a bunch of homeless olives awaiting a lonely, shriveling death in the fridge.

Well now both olives and olive lovers can rejoice thanks to Dirty Sue. (Should it bother us that our mom was nicknamed that after her sixth unknown-father pregnancy?)

Unlike the brine that’s in a typical jar of olives, Dirty Sue is twice-filtered premium olive juice made for the sole purpose of cocktailery. And you can really taste the difference. There’s more going on here than mere saltwater with a fancy label.

Just make sure to hydrate well if you’re drinking lots of these because nobody’s sexy with swollen ankles from all that sodium. But after a few Dirty Sue martinis, it may be hard to tell exactly who’s sexy anyway. Trust us.

With blurred vision, that one-eyed elephant man looked perfectly normal to us. Thank goodness other parts were equally elephant-like or we would’ve been really ashamed the next morning.

$5.99/375ml (buy 12, get one free)