There’s a new product on the market that we find utterly hilarious, but mostly because of its marketing. It’s nail polish for men that, according to their campaign, will help you score chicks, man.
That’s how Alpha Nail is pitching this product to dudely dudes everywhere. (Even celebrities like fighter Roger Huerta, above.)
Sure, we totally understand that athletes and rocker types can get away with long hair, eye liner and nail polish, but we doubt if the Docker-wearing accountants of the world would ever dare color their cuticles.
That said, as gay men we can totally get behind this product for the occasional black-tie event, dramatic entrance to any Spring Break pool party, or trip to The Home Depot to pick up lumber and caulk.
Because nothing says, “Hellooooo, bitches!” like a set of painted toes in pink flip-flops.
The colors, at least, are definitely from a masculine palette (which is relative in the world of men’s polish.) Think steel gray, black and nuclear green, with matte and metallic options, depending on how flashy you wanna be.
The applicators are really cool, too. No bottle and brush. Instead, they’re like those paint pens we used to practice our bubbly sorority lettering with, carefully dotting each “i” with a heart.
Just use with caution. If there really is truth in advertising, you could end up fighting off hoards of horny women just for painting your pinkies platinum.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
$9.95 per polish pen