When we were in the Witness Protection Program back in 2002 (after ratting out key members of the gay mafia), we were given two choices.
One, go under the knife for complete facial reassignment surgery.
Or two, take a cue from Superman and simply put on a pair of chunky glasses to fool everyone.
Considering that we’ve made millions showcasing our perfect mug on international fashion magazines, we knew eyewear trumped any nip/tuck.
What they don’t tell you when you choose this option is that you’re responsible for buying your own glasses. Thanks, U.S. Government.
So within the first month of hiding, we had to file bankruptcy because of all those high-fashion designer “disguises” we had to buy.
Well, we’ve long been released from the WPP now, but we’re still hooked on glasses. And one of the best options around is Eyefly.com, where they’ve just introduced the new Spring 2012 collection.
For $99, choose any pair of glasses or sunglasses with prescription lenses, free shipping and free returns for 30 days. Upload a photo of yourself for virtual try-on and have a blast admiring all the four-eyed possibilities.
Best of all, if you order today, you can save 25%. So 75 bucks for a complete pair of up-to-the-minute fashion frames?
That’s almost worth witnessing another drag queen-led massacre in a dark alley.
$99 per complete pair (some prescription restrictions apply)
Use code EYEWIN today for 25% off your order