Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Preachy Keen

Hallelujah, brothers and sisters! We have a juicy new soap opera to worship and adore.

It’s called GCB (even though we prefer the original title of Good Christian Bitches). Camp, over-the-top and filled with great one-liners, this is the perfect heir apparent to the departing Desperate Housewives.

For anyone who would’ve been offended by the show’s full-length title, the producers make sure to lay the groundwork for the show’s raciness in the first three minutes when a Good Christian Blowjob turns deadly, forcing a shamed widow named Amanda (Leslie Bibb) to return home to Dallas with her two teenagers to live with her socialite mother, Gigi (Annie Potts).

It doesn’t take long before all the girls she verbally and socially tortured in high school learn that the once-mean girl is back, only all the roles have been reversed. Amanda’s now good and the others are, well, evil bitches.

The biggest B in town, we’re delighted to say, is pint-sized Kristen Chenoweth who plays a hypocritical, holier-than-thou, Bible-verse-quotin’ terror in designer heels. With droll one-liners like “Cleavage just makes your cross hang better,” we’re sure this is going to be a great showcase for her many talents (and yes! she sings in the first two episodes, too).

Clearly, it’s the high-society “scandals” that are going to fuel the funny, from a secret gay affair, wannabe infidelity, plenty of lust and a demonstration of how powerful prayer and church solos can be as weapons of mass humiliation. And that’s just Episode One.

Now the only prayer left to answer is for our first big catfight. Because God knows it’s coming. And we simply can’t wait.

Praise you, ABC.


Premieres Sunday, 10:00 p.m./9:00 p.m. Central

Photo Credit: ABC/Bob D’Amico