Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Mid-Life Vices

You lie about your age.

Come on, we’ve seen your Grindr photo with its “28 years old” caption and know the only way that could possibly be true is if the iPhone came out in 2002 and Grindr was your first app download.

But we all know that’s not true, dear.

Don’t worry, there’s a new app out there where everyone can be their real age without fear of judgment or, worse, hookupus interruptus after those gray pubes see the light of day.

Introducing MISTER, an app for older guys to meet their contemporaries, or those younger men who like a little mileage on their fellas. From the creators of the daddyhunt.com web site, this is primarily for the man over 40 who doesn’t consider himself a daddy yet.

But it’s also a great place for men who are daddies.

Like other dating apps, it shows guys who are close in proximity, along with the ability to chat and virtually “grope” a guy to let him know you’re interested.

There’s also a code of conduct, which turns MISTER into a nice little acronym, standing for Maturity, Integrity, Safety, Truth, Enjoyment and Respect.

So whether you’re looking for a date, a long-term May-December romance or just want to find out during sex what it was like for someone to walk to school both ways in the snow and see a movie for a nickel, MISTER is ideal for mature men and anyone who admires them.

Just be warned, according to the terms of use, you can’t have a profile pic of any produce being inserted into any orifices.

Now what are we supposed to do with this watermelon?