Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Johnny Depp Sucks

He’s been a pirate. A boy with scissors for hands. Even a killer barber. But until now, Johnny Depp’s never been a vampire.

And we love to see him suck.

No doubt you’re aware that his newest film, Dark Shadows, opens today. (There’s been a bit of publicity about it.)

But we’ve seen it and think it’s the best Depp-Tim Burton collaboration in years. Finally, they’ve re-captured the perfect balance of humor, horror and Burton’s signature gothic eccentricities.

Sure, Depp is back playing yet another a ghostly white-faced character with a weird accent and bizarre mannerisms, and even though that shtick can wear thin in other movies, it works in this one.

We are way too young to remember the original Dark Shadows soap opera-style TV series, but it was our sister’s favorite show and we always knew the basic premise. In the feature version, the ensemble of ghosts, vampires, witches and werewolves are introduced and it’s clear that they could go on to sustain this as a viable franchise.

We know we’d love to see more Depp as ruthless killer/devoted family man.

Dark Shadows
Opens today in theaters everywhere