Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Love Your Handles

We used to think our tiny love handles were cute. So much so that we even named them to keep better track of them. But Belly Furtado and Tummy Faye Bakker started to gain weight.

Yeah, not so cute anymore.

So we went to the gym and feverishly did sit-ups and crunches. Sometimes twice, three times, even four times a month.

Still not enough.

It was time to take more drastic measures. That meant increases cardio workouts, adding lots of strength training and eating sensibly between cocktails.

Slowly, it started to work.

But just as we thought our ab area was as good as it was ever going to get, we received a care package from Nickel. Inside was a large tube of something that intrigued us: Nickel Love Handles.

Yep, it’s a skincare product specifically designed for your muffin-topographic region. Containing caffeine and Theobromin, this product works to actually firm the skin around your belly and hips. It feels cool and invigorating immediately upon application, which means it’s working its magic.

The formula actually supports the holding in and releasing of lipids to tone and smooth the surface of the skin. Their lab tests show a more than 170% increase in lipolysis stimulus on subjects who used Love Handles.

Simply apply daily and rub it in vigorously (while trying to pretend the jiggling isn’t happening).

We started noticing visible results within about five days of use. After two weeks, you could bounce a quarter off our stomach.

Unfortunately, they kept getting lost under our man tits.

Nickel Love Handles
$42 at www.berjangusa.com