Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch

Cue the opening credits. Fade in on shots of cows, gushing oil and colorful skyscrapers. Bring up the theme song at full volume.

Dallas is back with a vengeance! And the old-school nighttime soap genre is ready for its comeback.

Fans of the original series about evil oil baron J.R. Ewing and his backstabbing clan at Southfork Ranch will be thrilled to see three of the original cast members back in the saddle again (plus cameos from many other old-timers).

J.R. (Larry Hagman), Bobby (Patrick Duffy) and Sue Ellen (Linda Gray), may be a little long in the tooth (J.R. even sports a walker in early scenes), but their return gives the admittedly cheesy goings-on a bit of depth. Their presence provides just enough nostalgia for die-hard devotees, but new blood in the form of J.R.’s son, John Ross (Josh Henderson) and Bobby’s son, Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe), give the series the ability to continue for a long time in the future if this run’s a success.

So far, there’s nothing overtly gay about the show, but in each of the four episodes we screened, there’s plenty of gratuitous male flesh. John Ross and Christopher are shirtless just about any chance they get and we’re not about to complain.

Seems like old times at the end of the first episode when it’s clear that everyone has a dirty secret (or seven) and eager to stab anyone in the back for a stake in Ewing Oil’s triumphant return to the global market.

But most of all, Dallas is a chance to see J.R., one of TV’s greatest villains, get one last evil-doing hoorah for the pure sport of it.

And Bobby with his hands up a cow’s vajajay – far more shocking than the infamous season finale when he turned up alive in the shower.

Premieres tonight with 2 episodes on TNT
9:00 p.m./8:00 p.m. Central