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Hair Apparent

Tom Cruise in a codpiece/jockstrap contraption baring his naked butt. Catherine Zeta-Jones in awesome fetishwear. And raunchy sex on a pool table.

Ah, just another everyday Broadway musical.

Despite our lack of love for the stage version of Rock of Ages, the movie adaptation is actually a rockin’ great time.

Sure, it’s yet another in a long line of so-called jukebox musicals with plot lines beyond cliché. But the genius of these types of musicals is that the audience already knows the songs, so there’s an immediate recognition and nostalgia. Here, it’s heavy metal rock from the ’80s. And for what it is, it’s pretty fantastic.

Just don’t pay full price.

We get a lot of flack any time we praise Tom Cruise, but purely from an acting standpoint, he’s at the top of his game in Rock of Ages and outright hilarious. Plus, who wouldn’t aspire to attain that rockin’ bod at his age?

But even if Cruise flesh isn’t enough to get you through the theater door, we can definitely promise you one of the funniest coming-out scenes ever set to music.

And a baboon who likes to play dress-up.

Rock of Ages opens today in theaters everywhere.