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Mama’s Family


It takes a lot to scare us. After all, we live in a world where Ann Coulter gets to speak out loud.

So when it comes to horror movies, few ever deliver jump-out-of-our-low-rise-briefs frights. Mama, too, fails to achieve that goal. Yet that’s not necessarily a bad thing because this is one of the more imaginative and genuinely creepy horror flicks we’ve seen in a long time.

The story follows two young girls abandoned in a secluded cabin in the woods when they’re just one- and three-years-old. Naturally, their animalistic survival instincts kick into overdrive. When they’re finally discovered years later, they’re more like savage wolves than little girls. The youngest even growls and maneuvers rooms on all fours.

Of course, there’s a malevolent twist.

The entire time the young girls lived in the cabin they were protected by the ghost of one very maternally deprived mental patient killed in the late 1800s. And she’s one nasty bitch who’s not about to let a new family take over child rearing quite so easily.

Sure, there were plenty of people in the audience genuinely spooked during the screening. Just not us. Instead, we were thrilled enough to finally see a horror movie with a genuinely satisfying conclusion.

Because you know we love a happy ending.

Opens today in theaters everywhere