We’ve got a new agenda. Surprise, surprise.
But unlike our previous schemes of gaining access to all locker rooms of professional sports teams (except the WNBA), getting McDonald’s to bring back deep-fried pies, and making it a legal requirement that every gay man sign a contract prohibiting him from wearing of Abercrombie & Fitch after 40, this agenda is vitally important.
We want you to put down the vodka soda and try to embrace Scotch, one of the most pleasurable spirits in the world.
And we have just the Scotch whisky to get you on board. Sure, it’s been around for more than 100 years, so it’s hardly a discovery. But it is a revelation.
Grant’s Family Reserve is a Scotch whisky blend that’s been around since 1898. By combining 25 of the finest single malt and grain Scotch whiskies together, William Grant & Sons distills a lighter and more delicate spirit that’s sweeter and softer than most.
In fact, they describe it as “complex, clean and fruity.” Just like us! Even the bottle is triangular, the gays’ favorite shape.
An ideal and affordable starter whisky, it’s also sophisticated enough to serve Scotch aficionados if they’re not total snobs. Try it with an equal amount of water first, then graduate to pouring it neat or with a rock or two.
Grant’s Family Reserve also blends delightfully well in cocktails, including the Grant’s Sour, a citrusy sweet beverage perfect as we transition into summer. Just prepare to do a little metric conversion with the recipe.
Math has never been so delicious.
Grant’s Family Reserve
$21.99 (1.75L) here, or liquor stores everywhere