Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Going Soft


Sometimes crunchy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Just ask our dentist why he had to replace our teeth with pearly white implants.

Or we could just tell you.

It all started when we were 11, selling candy door-to-door to earn our Child Labor badge for the Boy Scouts. Bored with the grueling work, we snuck into our neighbor’s back yard. He owned the house on the corner with no windows. Pretty creepy, but sneaking into a normal person’s property would be no challenge whatsoever. (Plus, we also had our sights on the elusive Escape from a Kidnapper arm patch, so it’s not like we went in without a plan.)

What we weren’t expecting was a rather large Doberman to come lunging at us from the doggie door. Or that in our terrified state we’d fall into a deep open pit where a tornado shelter was being built by Mrs. Clarkson (yes, we later learned the would-be villain from our fantasy was actually a — presumably equally creepy — woman).

Nine days later, we were discovered. Dehydrated, frightened and missing every tooth due to inferior quality peanut brittle, we had learned a valuable lesson: Never fall into an open hole in an old lady’s backyard when she’s on a two-week cruise to the Panama Canal.

If only we’d had bags of WOATS instead. This brand-new oat snack is part hippie health food, part after-school snack. With flavors that include Cookies ‘n’ Dreams, Peanut Butter Graham Slam and Nuts About Berries, WOATS is a soft granola cluster that’s simply irresistible.

Better still, each serving has just 120 calories and 5g of fat, so WOATS is kinda-sorta healthy.

And 100% delicious.