Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Tight Seal


Misunderstandings can really cause problems.

Like the time we were arrested in a tree at Reverchon Park with our pants around our ankles. Sure, the cops have lots of “evidence,” from the security footage of us shoplifting condoms at Walgreens earlier the same day to dash-cam video of three other naked men on the same tree branch paying us for sex with Applebee’s gift cards as we smoked a gigantic post-coital joint before hitting them in the head with our unregistered pistol and taking their wallets.

It probably looked bad, but everything was taken completely out of context and being taken to jail was sooo completely uncalled for. A fact we were more than happy to point out in frequent tirades on our arresting officer’s Facebook timeline.

After all, who among us hasn’t been arrested for shoplifting, prostitution, possession of marijuana, assault, crimes involving weapons, indecent exposure and online internet harassment in the same day?


Thankfully, we’ve found a way to get many of our criminal records sealed so that they won’t become part of public record. (Not counting this published confession, of course.) That’s because super-attorney Chad West (above) can help anyone seal their criminal records from most cases that have been dismissed, resulted in a “not guilty” verdict or in which the accused was found guilty and completed deferred adjudication probation.

Getting those criminal records sealed is important because even if you’re eventually found innocent, the mere presence of those records can create problems landing a job, enrolling in college or leasing an apartment.

That’s why we’re going to Chad West to help us clean up our criminal record and get a fresh start.

Because sometimes bad things happen to good people. Especially naked ones in trees just trying to earn a buck.

Criminal Record Sealing
$1250 (regularly $1500) through June 10, 2013
(214) 509-7555