Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Balls Dropped


For years we’ve struggled to obtain abs of steel, buns of steel and pecs of steel. Unfortunately, our favorite extracurricular activity only yielded wrists of steel.

Never in our wildest dreams, however, did we ever consider balls of steel. But mostly because our mind is always in the gutter.

So here we are, presenting you with true Balls of Steel, premium whiskey coolers that chill bourbons or any of your favorite spirits, far better than ice because they’ll never dilute the flavor and they chill the beverage even faster.

Plus, Balls of Steel donates 15% of all profits directly towards testicular cancer research and testicular cancer communities. Pretty cool work for a product that’s so useful. And so easy to use.

Start by putting your balls in the freezer. Then when you’re ready to enjoy a glass of booze, drop your balls into the liquor and swirl them around for a few seconds. Just make sure to remove them before drinking, because fast-moving stainless steal balls can knock out teeth faster than a one-eyed prostitute wearing a strap-on while straddling you on a vibrating bed.

Though some people might consider toothlessness an asset, we prefer our fellas with a full set of choppers. And an unlimited supply of expertly chilled single-malt scotch.

Balls of Steel