Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Heroine Addict


When we were sixteen, we were too busy thinking about boys and how to date girls that wouldn’t want sex from us, but still keep people from realizing we were doing nothing but thinking about boys.

If we’d just come out of the closet then, think how much more productive we would’ve been. For sure it wouldn’t have taken us until we were 19 to do the voiceover in our first underground bestiality porn cartoon.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda. At least there are 16-year-olds doing more with their lives. Take Lorde, for instance. She’s already earned a #1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100, the youngest solo artist to do so since Tiffany topped the charts back in 1987 with “I Think We’re Alone Now.”

But age doesn’t really even matter because listening to her debut album, Pure Heroine, is like hearing the vocals of a seasoned professional with decades of industry experience. Her pop is soft, but filled with great hooks and catchy melodies.

Better still, we’ve created a Lorde channel on Pandora and it’s one we can listen to all day.

Instead of sitting down to write the best-selling novel of all time. No matter, there’s probably a 14-year-old already on the project.

Pure Heroine, Lorde
Out now
$9.99 (Digital), iTunes
$11.88 (CD), amazon.com