Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Best Of 2013: A Roll In The Hay

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Naked men in our bed: Nothing new.

Naked men playing cornhole, squirting milk from the teets of cows onto other men, lassoing each other in the company of two really frightened sheep? Yeah, still nothing new.

Yet perhaps entirely coincidentally, those very elements make up a mere fraction of the scenes portrayed on the dirtiest toile print you may ever own. They’re all laid out in X-rated, super-soft, 400-thread-count, 100% Egyptian cotton sheet sets from Vice Merchants.

Finally, somebody besides Martha Stewart bold enough to combine unparalleled luxury, incredible comfort and perversive kink into bedroom linens.

Available in slate or wheat, the Cowpokes pattern is found on shams, duvets, throw pillows, flat sheets and extra-deep fitted sheets. They’ve got several collections that feature naked women, too. But we won’t go into detail about those.

Falling asleep that close to boobs and naked muff just gives us nightmares.

Vice Merchants Bedding
$32-$499
www.vicemerchants.com