Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

All Sash, No Gash

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Much like quoting along to Mommie Dearest, outgrowing Cosmpolitans and tipping your first male stripper, attending a live performance of Pageant is a gay rite of passage.

Featuring men in the roles of six contestants, Miss Texas (Walter Lee), Miss Bible Belt (Ashton Shawyer), Miss Deep South (Peter DiCesare), Miss West Coast (Drew Kelly), Miss Great Plains (Micah Greene) and Miss Industrial Northeast (Sergio Antonio Garcia), this hilarious Uptown Players production isn’t your typical musical theater production.

Led by B.J. Cleveland as pageant host Frankie Cavalier, the contestants each compete in evening gown, swimwear, talent and spokesmodel categories. The twist? It plays out as an actual pageant to crown Miss Glamouresse 2014 with judges chosen from the audience to select the winner.

This means the outcome of each performance could be dramatically different.

And unlike those Trump beauty pageants, less chance a winner will have to relinquish her title because of sex tapes or scandalous photos.

At least as long as the judges steer clear of Grindr.

Pageant: The Musical
Tickets: $25-$40

March 28 – April 13, 2014
Thursdays  Saturdays at 8 pm;
Sundays at 2 pm

(no performance March 30)
Kalita Humphreys Theater
3636 Turtle Creek Blvd (at Blackburn), Dallas
www.uptownplayers.org