If you’re embarrassed to go to the drug store to purchase a giant bottle of Wet Platinum premium silicone lubricant, perhaps you should walk to the counter with a scuffed pair of shoes. Or a big squealing pig.
Because after you read this, you’ll be able to tell the cashier all the reasons you’re buying lube that have nothing to do with sex.
Here are 9 hints for alternative lube uses that wouldn’t make Heloise blush. Or your mom if she starts snooping through your nightstand.
Use Wet Platinum to:
- Get a really close shave.
- Add shine to hair and keep it from frizzing in dry climates.
- Moisturize your entire body after a shower.
- Prevent doors and cabinets from squeaking.
- Remove labels from jars.
- Pull off a tight ring.
- Untangle a bicycle chain or knotted jewelry chain.
- Loosen a troublesome zipper.
- Rub all over a swine for a greased pig contest.
Of course, we can think of at least 9 other ways to use it that would be a lot more fun, at least one of which takes advantage of the fact that it stays slick underwater. And is certified Kosher.
Unlike that big squealing pig.
Wet Platinum Premium Silicone Lubricant
$8.95-$321.95 (that’s a whole lot of squeaky doors you got there!)