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The 701 Club: Ebola, American Horror Story & Viagra

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Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news.

Ebola: With the onslaught of media coverage about that African virus, I haven’t been witness to such mass hysteria since four long-haired hippies from Liverpool landed on the Ed Sullivan Show. Truly, our nation needs prayer. I’ve been to church covered dish suppers where I was subject to more viral filth via casseroles. Praise God that the madness seems to be abating. It’s a shame that such normal, everyday people have been afflicted with Ebola. After all, if we had seen an outbreak in any marginalized group of people, the public apathy and political lack of action would have been suffocating. Let us now pause for a moment and reflect on Brother Ronald Reagan.

American Horror Story: Freak Show: I rarely turn my attention to any of the filth on television, but the Lord led me to a program called American Horror Story: Freak Show. Based on the title, I was hoping it was a documentary on such circus oddities as Michele Bachman, Rush Limbaugh or Ted Nugent. I wasn’t TOO disappointed since the show does indeed feature a two-faced woman, a scary clown and a bearded lady. Hallelujah!

Viagra: Lord help us. A recent medical study has revealed that the active ingredient in Viagra, that filthy sexual pharmaceutical, has shown to also provide improved heart health in patients. Conceivably (no pun intended), women with cardiac issues could benefit from this blue pill in ways never before imagined. I’m in fervent prayer for this breakthrough. Sisters in Christ, let us all get a heart on!

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.

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