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The 701 Club: Kate Brown, SNL 40 & Brian Williams

Helen Holy-021815

Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news.

Kate Brown: Continuing their reputation as hippies, liberals and granola-eating naturalists, the people of the State of Oregon are now being led by a self-avowed bisexual as their Governor. I really don’t need to know what goes on the bedrooms of the Governor’s Mansion, thankyouverymuch. And for the record, I believe that it’s no coincidence that Oregon’s seat of government is in a city called Salem. Witchcraft indeed. However, this revelation poses a far more important question. How will this new Governor make important budget and policy decisions, when she has clearly declined to decide who tickles her man in the boat? We need to pray.

SNL 40: In case you’ve been in a spiritual seclusion, monastery or just under a rock, television celebrated an anniversary this past weekend marking 40 years of SNL. Praise God that this show has, for 40 years, been limited to late night viewing only. Such filth. And yet, TV zombies wallowed in looks back at past cast members, old sketches, sophomoric humor and more envelope pushing than a post office on April 15th. I mean, really. This IS the show which gave us a man, disguised as an older religious woman, satirically pointing out the sins and foibles of others. That’s just sick.

Brian Williams: NBC Newsman, Brian Williams, is in deep doo doo. The trusted newsman with the immovable hair has been lying to us, stretching the truth about what is really going on in our world. He has been caught misleading the viewing public. In a nutshell, he can’t be trusted. NBC has thus far declined to make a definitive decision as to Brother Williams’ job status.  I want Brother Brian to hear me loud and clear. “I am praying for you and am believing that the Lord has a new place for you to serve.” Fox News is holding on line one. Hallelujah!

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.

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