Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club: Ben Carson, Hillary Clinton & Harrison Ford

Helen Holy-03_11_15

Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news.

Ben Carson: Brother Ben Carson, retired neurosurgeon and 2016 GOP candidate for president has claimed, in all his neuroscience knowledge, that being gay is indeed a choice. And to prove his ever so scientific theory, Brother Ben claimed, and I quote, “… a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight — and when they come out, they’re gay.” What a blessing to have such a man of God and brilliant scientist helping the fallen to understand these complex matters. At the recent Academy Awards, Brother John Legend pointed out that “There are more black men under correctional control today than there were under slavery in 1850.” I am therefore anticipating Brother Carson’s equally scientific claim that being black is a choice.

Hillary Clinton: Sister Hillary Clinton has been called on the carpet for using a private e-mail server while she was Secretary of State. Is there no more privacy in this world? Sometimes a Sister just needs to send a quick note to her husband about world affairs, without “Big Brother” snooping in. Animosity towards this very strong woman has been so great, we will soon be hearing rumors that Sister Hillary brought her own toilet paper to the White House and passed government secrets through her poop. Scandal!

Harrison Ford: Let us lift Brother Harrison Ford up in prayer. I have been relieved to hear that he is expected to recover from his recent crash landing of his vintage World War II plane on a golf course in Southern California. My prayer is that he not make any such error again in the future. Clearly, this is what happens when you’re late for tee time of a Star Wars charity golf tournament and you let Carrie Fisher drive.

Comments

comments

Related articles

Southern Drawl-ma

Not every gay man lives a glam, NYC lifestyle like Will of & Grace fame. In fact, there are dozens–if not thousands–of gay men who live in smaller cities and towns around the globe. It’s true!Exploring the LGBT world outside of Gotham is at the heart of Feral, a new series debuting today on Dekkoo.com, the subscription streaming service dedicated […]

Ull In The Family

Without Tracey Ullman, we wouldn’t have The Simpsons. We also wouldn’t have a reason to resubscribe to HBO (Game of Thrones does nothing for us). But this weekend, the master of disguise and impersonation returns to the airwaves with Tracey Ullman’s Show and it’s going to be spectacular. From a hooligan Dame Judi Dench and Camilla Parker-Bowles to Angela Merkel […]