Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Powerball Fever

craig-headshotBy the time you read this, the Powerball numbers for the $1,500,000,000 (doesn’t that look bigger than $1.5 billion?) lottery will have been drawn. Meaning that this column will be either the most prescient or the most immediately outdated column I’ve written. But here goes…

I’d like to offer up to the Lottery Gods why I should win the jackpot. First off, all I’ve ever won is a round trip airline ticket at a long ago Federal Club Christmas party as well as a pair of lawn chairs (the ones that fold with the plastic webbing that gets brittle and scratches) at a company picnic even longer ago. Considering the tickets bought for neighborhood school drawings, church cakewalks, and the car at Black Tie Dinner every year, I am seriously in the hole and overdue for a win.

Secondly, I would be a really good ultra-rich person. My first call would be to find out from Cece Cox at the Resource Center how much money is needed to finish out the new building going up as we speak. (Seriously, now, this is the first call you should make if you win, too.) Then, there would be two sales ladies I know who could retire on the commissions they would be soon be receiving. I’m a people person, don’t you know…

Reason number three: I would become a cottage industry. For years, I went to the old Perry Henderson salon in Turtle Creek Village and would run into some of the wealthiest ladies in Dallas (think Hamon, Jones and Perot). I never understood why these ladies went to a salon. Most folks just don’t look that good with their hair wet…past a certain age. So, I’d build a full service salon at home for those things that really matter…makeup, hair and nails. The full time staff we’d need should bring national unemployment below 5 per cent.

Well, spit…now that I look at my application for lottery winner, it does seem obvious that, deep down, I’m very superficial. So, I’ll have to go with my last trump card.

Karl has been with me for 34 years (this month, in fact). Since half of Dallas thinks his first name is Poor (as in, Poor Karl) and the other half thinks he’s working out some bad past life karma, he really should be the beneficiary of some seriously significant societal (alliteration!) largesse. So, he should win.

And, Texas is a community property state.