Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

You Say You Want A Revolution

craig-headshotMy husband told me the other night that I’m a luddite. Karl was very pleased with himself because he first had to explain what he had just called me. That was more irritating than the label.

Technically, I’m not a luddite, seeing as how I wasn’t around during the Industrial Revolution, but I am resistant to technological change. Neither my wallet nor my quality of life have benefited by self-checkout at the grocery store, self-ticketing at the movies, and self-service gas. I don’t go around with a baseball bat attacking the machines that support these job killing, life diminishing “conveniences”…but not for the reason you may think. I don’t carry a baseball bat (or a gun, for that matter) for fear I might use it on the next person who runs into me while texting or watching “The Hunger Games” while walking through a department store. Seriously, I nearly got run over at Neiman’s last week by two girls (not women, girls) with their noses pressed to their iPhones, both of them oblivious to the amazing store decorations. I’m sure if the person (probably gay) who had designed those displays saw those two, there would have been a baseball bat involved. Or at least a swinging Louis Vuitton messenger bag.

Then, there are the other changes that are a-comin’, so we’re told. Climate change, of course. The threats to Social Security, which needs “saving” every few years, primarily because the trustees borrowed most of the money. (Ronald Reagan’s trustee in “Kings Row” ran away to South America, as I recall, which is way more glamorous than Iraq or Afghanistan.) These are the things that will affect our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But to quote Lady Rosamund (possibly the most under used character on “Downton Abbey”), “Well, I won’t have any, so I can live with that.”

Harsh, you say? Perhaps. But in the meantime, I have to dodge those two girls from Neiman’s as they barrel down Northwest Highway while texting. I have my priorities.

And we’re electing a new president. Semi-Governor Palin asked once, “How’s that hopey-changey stuff workin’ out for ya?” Well, Semi, hang on to your thong (not a good visual) because a lot more of that hopey-changey stuff is coming down the pike. Senator Sanders wants to blow up private health insurance and the big banks. Senator Cruz…like Cher…wants to turn back time, in part to be born in the United States. Trump offers no Muslims, no Mexicans, and a wall to keep them all out.

As Americans, we require our politicians (particularly our presidents) to gain power by appealing to our emotions and passions…and sometimes our prejudices. We love a demagogue. Which brings me to Secretary Clinton, whose weakness is a lack of voter enthusiasm and passion. Or, so we’re told by people who don’t have friends who are Hillary supporters. The very fact she isn’t a man is her revolutionary trump card.

John Lennon said, “You say you want a revolution”…and maybe you do. Meantime, this luddite is worrying about where to get a chicken fried steak now that the Dixie House is closing. Not to mention getting hit by someone texting while I’m going there. Seriously. I have my priorities.

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