Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Fast Times At Your Very Own High

craig-headshotHave you ever noticed how little things have changed since high school?

Remember the girl who knew more than anyone else, was always prepared for class and sucking up to the teachers? Remember the guy who always took contrarian positions on issues in class, ran for student council, but never got elected to anything?

Remember the guy who always had an uninformed opinion on everything and would resort to name calling and cursing when challenged? Remember the guy with the yellow mustard stain on his shirt who was really smart and really smug, had bad skin, and smelled vaguely strange? Remember the guy that all the teachers liked, was extremely earnest, and who tended to be the go-to person for the principal whenever anything came up?

Sound familiar? And current? Are we electing the President of the United States or of the Senior Class?

What about the rest of us? Are we just divided into cliques in the high school cafeteria? Are we the ones passing notes to each other, reinforcing our opinions of each other and everybody else? Are we the ones saying the others are stupid and naïve, or stuck-ups and suck-ups, or coarse and crude?

Now that we’ve reduced the 2016 election to a Reese Witherspoon movie, let’s look at where we are. The pundits keep telling us it is all up in the air, but it appears that Secretary Clinton (the smart girl) and Mr. Trump (the bully boy) are heading into Super Tuesday with three out of four wins from their respective February battles, with every indication that they will win the majority of the contests on March 1. Despite wishful thinking for Sanders, divine intervention for Cruz, and the entire Republican establishment for Rubio, the other lanes to a nomination for those three senators are closing as fast as if Chris Christie were manning the traffic cones himself.

Even so, it’s not over yet. Far from it. There’s still lots of money to be collected and spent, enriching consultants and media outlets. There’s the rating of the news channels at stake, based on who can best convince the audience that the game is still on. Tonight and every night. Let’s not forget that politics in America is big business, and presidential politics even bigger. Really big…”huuuuge” to quote Bernie.

Whether you went to Rydell, Ridgemont, or my very own Robert E. Lee (always said by alums as if it were one word…”RobertELee”), you can close your eyes and still read the handwriting on the gym wall. But do try to read it for yourself. This is not the time to cheat from someone else’s paper.

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