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The 701 Club: Black, Blacker & Blackest

helenholy-030216Let us turn our eyes to the contentious issue of race. The Lord has revealed the following thoughts to me in prayer. Let us join our hearts.

Black: The high holy day of Hollywood has come and gone, as the 88th annual Academy Awards were telecast on Sunday. What a travesty to air this filth on the Lord’s Day. Liberalism was being spewed from the microphones, and the entire program was awash in charges of racism and the lack of Black people represented by the Academy nominations. Of course, the President of the Academy is a Black woman and the entire debacle was hosted by a Black man, but I digress. Honestly, my concern with the entire telecast has less to do with racism and a lot more to do with humanity in general. I mean, the entire program nearly BORED ME TO DEATH! And that’s a crime no matter WHAT color you are. Hallelujah!

Blacker: Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is known for being one of the most conservative people on the Bench. He is also known for rarely, if ever, asking questions from the Bench. Perhaps it was a result of the death of his conservative colleague, Brother Scalia, but Clarence broke a TEN YEAR silence this past week by asking a question during Supreme Court deliberations. Much to the surprise of all people in attendance, Justice Thomas spoke up and, as a hush fell over the crowd, asked the searing question, “Why didn’t anyone tell me I’m Black?” Lord, help.

Blackest: It bereaves me greatly that I am compelled to return week after week to any musings involving that charlatan, Donald Trump. However, when the Lord gifts me with treasures of Brother Trumps oral regurgitations, I simply must heed the call. Little Donny has really stepped in it this time by attempting to feign ignorance about his recent endorsement by Brother David Duke, a politician with clear ties to the Ku Klux Klan. Call me jaded, but Brother Trump is far too arrogant for me to believe that he didn’t know anything about white supremacy or who is currently endorsing him. So hear me, Brothers and Sisters. The Donald knows EXACTLY what he’s doing, and it would behoove him to distance himself from any KKK endorsements. Or to put it another way, to keep the white sheets out of his campaign, I suggest he ban all MUSLIN from entering his race. Preach!

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.