Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club: NBA, DOA & B-I-N-G-O

helenholy-042716Let us pause for a brief look at the current state of our world.  Here are some thoughts which the Lord has laid on my heart.

NBA: Commercialization is wrapping its evil tentacles around yet another untouched frontier. The National Basketball Association recently voted to allow advertising space to be sold on basketball player tank tops. Now we can expect to see beer ads dripping off of the players’ shoulders. Filth. Praise the Lord that it wasn’t allowed on those shiny shorts. I just don’t think I could abide a Viagra ad smack dab in the middle of Lebron James’ nether regions. Glory!

DOA: People seem to be beside themselves over the loss of one of our one-named pop stars. While I confess that I rarely give credence to anyone other than gospel greats, I was quite familiar with Brother Prince. Every time I viewed one of his appearances on the TV, I fell to my knees in prayer for such degradation. Nonetheless, I am aware of the impact Prince had on many of my followers. It is my prayer that the purple one will find peace in the hereafter. To quote one of his secular hits, “Party’s over, oops, out of time.” Therefore, I will heretofore be referring to him as “The Artist Formerly Known.” Let us pray.

B-I-N-G-O: Speaking of one named pop stars, the world seem to be abuzz with the release of a new album from Sister Beyoncé. I just couldn’t care less. From my experience calling bingo for the Mexicans, I have learned that “Beyoncé” means “B-11.” So as far as I’m concerned, she’s just another hole to be fingered on a bingo card. Next number!

Photo Credit: NBA – www.slangstrong.com; Prince – USAWeekly; Beyoncé– NPR

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.