Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

You Have Mail

craig-headshotIt would be too embarrassing for me to admit how many unopened emails are in my inbox. Not that the unopened ones are from anyone I actually know, you understand. Mostly junk mail from anyone who managed to get my email address. Oh, and political fundraising. Lots of those.

So every time I go online, there they are—these unread messages staring at me. I scan down to find real emails from real people and find one yesterday from the President. Subject: “Craig, I need your help.” It must be that long awaited appointment as cultural attache to somewhere fabulous, but Barack just needed $5. Or $35. Or $50. Or $100. Or $250.

But it’s not just my inbox where unreceived messages are floating around. While the pundits have given us unending analysis of every presidential candidate’s message and momentum, we are now at the place where it is the other “M” that matters. Math. And not even math…just simple arithmetic. Because the important messages now aren’t coming from the candidates—they’re coming from the voters. And some of these messages have not been received. Yet.

The majority of voters on the Democratic side have supported Secretary Clinton. She could lose each of the remaining primaries and still secure the nomination. Bernie, you have mail.

On the Republican side, Mr. Trump is finally getting majority wins, as shown by his five-for-five victory this week. If this continues, he may very well go from having the most delegates to having a majority (no matter how slim). Republican establishment, you have mail.

I could try to come up with a clever rejoinder about Senator Cruz announcing Carly Fiorina as his running mate on his presidential ticket. Something about jumping the shark. Suffice it to say…Carly, Ted, you both have mail.

And, while there has been a focused discourse on bathroom politics these last couple of weeks, trans folks are still subject to job and housing discrimination in many jurisdictions, as are all of the LGBT community. At the same time, former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (who looks nothing like Caitlyn Jenner) has reminded all of us that child sexual predators can be found in unexpected places. Like sitting behind the President during a State of the Union address. America, you have mail, too.

And, me? Well, I just got another one—subject “please, Craig.” Joe Biden, what do you want now?