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The 701 Club: Christie, Crazy & Carvey

helenholy-05_11_16Open your hearts, Brothers and Sisters, and let us ponder the world around us.

Christie: This headline has really caused me concern: “TRUMP TAPS CHRISTIE TO LEAD TRANSITION.”  Trump is transitioning? This will crated a HUGE bathroom issue at Trump Tower. And how in the world is Chris Christie going to take time away from his eating schedule to have anything to do with Trump becoming a woman? I’m just at a loss. Lord Have Mercy.

Crazy: Just when I think the crazies have reached their zenith, out comes another nut case with an astounding claim. Our Klondike Lunatic, Sarah Palin, is truly outdoing herself in the cuckoo department. Is it not bad enough that Teddy Cruz tapped Carly Fiorina to be his running mate before he’d even gotten the nomination? Is it not bad enough that Donald Trump will probably have the Repugnicant nomination for President? How, then, are we to endure poor Sister Palin whoring herself out as a VP candidate? Sarah, listen to me carefully. You’ve tried this once already. It was irritating then. It would be inexcusable now. I’d prefer that you merely show your face occasionally on my TV to start speaking in tongues and general gibberish. Laughter is good for the soul. Hallelujah!

Carvey: It has been reported to me that Brother Dana Carvey returned to Saturday Night Live this past weekend to resurrect (pun intended) his “Church Lady” routine. Really? A man in a dress pretending to be a woman of God. How low can you go? Let us pray.

Photo Credit: Chris Christie/Donald Trump– newsday.com; Sarah Palin – thedailybeast.com; Dana Carvey– nbc.com

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.