Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Clutch Pearls

craig-headshotWell, it is official. I’ve now heard from friends in all three political camps that they will be holding their noses and voting for either Secretary Clinton or Mr. Trump. And, since this is 2016, that doesn’t mean that I talked to them in all cases…just that they’ve posted their dissatisfaction on Facebook.

There are Democrats who supported Senator Sanders who can’t stand Hillary, Republicans who can’t stand Trump, and Independents who can’t stand anybody…which is probably why they are Independents in the first place. And, truth be told, I could make an intellectually honest case why neither candidate should be the next POTUS—as long as I don’t have to compare the two.

Not that I was a star debater in high school, although I do remember arguing with authority figures quite a bit back then…particularly at church. By my senior year, I had discovered boys and was less inclined to focus on school clubs like the debate team. (I have a dear friend who would say she had discovered boys AND marijuana to explain her lack of appropriate high school focus, but I won’t go that far in writing. After all, I don’t know offhand what the applicable Statute of Limitations might be.)

But what bugs me about this (at least partly) is the cliché of holding one’s nose while voting. In my adult life, there was one presidential election for which neither the Democrats nor the Republicans presented a candidate for whom I could vote. (Guess which year.) And there was one election when I voted for a candidate who was so lame I’m still a little shy about acknowledging that vote. (Guess which year.) But I still wouldn’t say I held my nose. Mother always said you should touch your face as little as possible to avoid transferring oil (or whatever) to the skin. Or maybe you shouldn’t touch it after you’ve troweled Elizabeth Arden Flawless Finish across your phizzog. I can’t remember for sure.

So, if you’re gay or gay sensible (I think I just made that up!) and dissatisfied with the current crop of candidates for president, please consider describing what you plan to do in November as clutching your pearls and voting for whomever. That just has a nicer ring to it, don’t you think? Lord knows, I’ve been clutching mine over the years…even back when they were those awful puka shells and not pearls at all.

And please try to remember, if you are happy with your candidate, that there are those needing your compassion who aren’t happy at all. And if you’re one of those who isn’t happy, please try to remember that we survived George W. Bush (even though many Democrats didn’t think we would), and we have survived Barack Obama (even though many Republicans didn’t think we would). So we’ll probably survive either another President Clinton or a President Trump.

Or will we? Oh, my…I’m typing with one hand and clutching with the other.