Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

A-TISKET A-TASKET

craig-headshotDo you wonder about things that perhaps no else is wondering about? For example, I recently saw a commercial for Volkswagen with Willie Nelson singing “On the Road Again” and driving a yellow VW convertible. I wondered if he was given a drug test before they let him drive.

And I wonder about this “basket” thing. Why did Hillary Clinton think you could put half of Trump’s supporters in a basket? Perhaps a tote bag, or a backpack, maybe one of those military grade canvas duffel bags. But a little wicker basket? Probably not.

And why “deplorables”? Personally, I prefer “despicables”—primarily because it sounds so insulting when accented on the first syllable. And since we live in a country which has basically reduced itself to using only two adjectives—namely, “awesome” and “awful”—any polysyllabic word usage makes the speaker sound more than adequately educated and eloquent.

Mr. Trump has recently been talking to white voters while pretending to be talking to African American voters (the “I’m not a racist, I want to help those poor, miserable people” signal), and I wonder if Secretary Clinton was taking a page from his book. Was she talking to those same white voters while pretending to be talking to a bunch of (mostly white) LGBT folks? Was she really saying, “You guys don’t really belong with those racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic folks. Don’t you want to be with the cool kids?” Did she and her team veto a meaningless amalgam—RSHXI is even more awkward than LGBT—in favor of plain old “deplorables”? I wonder.

And I wonder who decided that I, as a voter, need to know the details about the health of the candidates. A simple statement that the candidate is not about to blow a fuse, and I’ll be good to go. And, by the way, talking about how much either candidate weighs is, well, deplorable.

There’s one thing, though, that I didn’t wonder about this week. Considering everything he’s done against the LGBT community, it’s no surprise that Governor Pence wouldn’t call David Duke deplorable. Those two are pretty much in the same boat. Or basket, as Hillary might say.