Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The 701 Club: Starts With An F

Helen Holy - 625x625 (2)I take a week off from this column, and people drop like flies. Let us pause for remembrance.

Florence: The sudden passing on Thanksgiving evening of TV’s Everymom was a cause for great consternation. Sister Florence Henderson, aka “Carol Brady,” joined her TV husband and housekeeper at the great split-level in the sky. Truly the end of an era. Sister Florence portrayed such optimism, happiness and wholesomeness to generations of fans. In private, she was known to cut loose with filthy jokes and innuendo, but I digress. It is truly sad that the Brady Bunch logo has now lost its entire center column. Good thing this wasn’t Hollywood Squares.

Fidel: On the opposite end of the goodness spectrum, an evil man also left this mortal coil over the weekend.  Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, finally gave up the ghost. As a Christian, it is my duty to pray for his soul. However, I sense that St. Peter went on break when Fidel tried to enter the Pearly Gates. Wherever Fidel spends eternity, let us pray that his grip on Cuba is released and that freedom will ring through the streets of Havana. Then I can turn my gaze to a much more sordid Castro littered with sodomites in California. For there, shall I offer tongues of oral testimony to many.

F: It was a bad week for people whose names start with “F”. Florence. Fidel. Who’s next? I am praying diligently that the Lord take a break and move on to another letter. I’m not ready to part with Sister Fannie Flagg!