Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Tasteless, Taken & Tongues

Time to review televisions annual biggest display of degradation.

Tasteless. Once again, the mother of all awards shows has come and gone and left a tasteless film of filth (filth of film?) on all of us. I haven’t seen this many sodomite portrayals of royalty honored since Caligula hit theaters. Best Supporting Actor for playing a piano playing sodomite. Best Actor for playing a singing sodomite Queen. Best Actress for playing a Lesbyterian Queen. Filthy. Then there’s the parade of attire masquerading as fashion. A black man in a dress. Another black man in camouflage shorts. A woman dressed like a toilet brush. Disgusting. And Sister Streisand coming out in a sequined schmatta. Horrifying. I’ll stick to my tasteful box suits, thankyouverymuch.

Taken. I think we can pray in agreement about Sister G. Close being robbed in broad daylight (footlights?). Why was what was rightfully hers taken and given to that rabbit loving Queen? (Keep an eye on your stove, Olivia.) Perhaps there is a hint in the fact that Sister Glenn rarely wears lipstick. A sure sign that she’s not kissing enough rumps in town. As consolation, she was able to gather her golden skirt and walk out of the theater looking exactly like the statue which she should have been carrying. Onward!

Tongues. Finally, scripture was not heeded in a very glaring instance. The Bible tells us of the gifts of glossolalia, or “speaking in tongues”. The Book of Acts teaches that, without an interpreter present, speaking in an unintelligible tongue is false and uninspired. So it was with Brother Trevor Noah in his homage to the movie Black Panther. As a man fluent in African tongues, Brother Noah regurgitated some gibberish which he claimed meant “In times like these, we are stronger when we fight together than when we try to fight apart.” What a lovely sentiment. The reality is, brothers and sisters, that what he ACTUALLY said meant “White people don’t know I’m lying.” I’m going to remember this the next time some Pentecostal trash hollers out at a tent revival!