Put Some Gay In Your Day!

Conservatives, Cohen & Conference

A couple of doses of politics and a big swig of religion.

Conservatives.  As an upstanding Christian woman, I have a keen interest in the annual Conservative Political Action Conference.  This year, to the delight of many, President Brother Donald Trump held court in a sermon of over two hours.  Personally, I don’t believe any lives are saved after an hour, but I digress.  In a bold display of patriotism, Brother Trump began his presentation with a physical embrace of the onstage American flag which would have made Betsy Ross highly annoyed.  Attendees held to his every word as if he were the Messiah himself.  And, as noted by Brother Don, not a single person left the room during his double hour proselytizing.  Which proves his divine nature, because THAT, brothers and sisters, is a miracle.  Glory!

Cohen.  Speaking of the Donald, all eyes should have been on his recent summit meeting in Vietnam with his sandbox playmate, Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.  While news reports summarized the meeting as a failure, I have a couple of divinely inspired comments on the whole affair.  First, I’m fully convinced that our esteemed President took an opportunity to do some brief volunteer work in a Hanoi soup kitchen, thus insuring that he can truly say he has “served in Vietnam.”  And secondly, we are left to believe the failure reports of this meeting solely on news reporters in attendance, since the rest of us were busy watching a passionate Jew sharing his testimony on Capitol Hill.  Praise!

Conference.  As a life-long Babatist, I have long held veiled disdain for Methodists.  In my spiritual opinion, they have always been the “Anything Goes” religion.  As of last week, I am having to re-think this assessment.  At their General Conference in St. Louis, the United Methodist Church voted to not only re-state their decree against sodomites and lesbyterians marrying in the church or serving in ministry, but in fact doubled down on this decree by extending punishment to local congregations who insist on even showing grace and Christian fellowship to these sinners.  Color me shocked.  But I will say this…….while this vote has taken the Methodists on a fast trip to 1950, I am predicting a quick decline in choral and instrumental musicianship in Methodist churches across this country, leaving only the open door Episcopalians with concert-worthy talent.  Sing out!

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