At the end of the infamous no wire hangers scene in Mommie Dearest, Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford orders Christina to “clean up this mess!” Christina sitting on a bathroom floor covered in Old Dutch Cleanser logically asks, “How?” Ever the responsible adult, Faye/Joan responds, “You figure it out.”
Now, I’m all for a teachable moment, particularly when a wisecrack is in order. It’s a safe bet that Christina’s response wasn’t “Well, you can sell the house, and we can start all over.” After all, she does get to outlive Joan.
That’s the thing about most messes. One must either clean them up or live with them. Maybe Christina had the smart idea of thinking Mommie would just drink a fifth of vodka and pass out, and she could have Carol Ann take care of it the next morning. That would certainly have been my first option.
If Christina did that, it seems likely Carol Ann would have determined that it was in her own best interest—that is, keeping her position—to not interfere in Joan’s unusual child rearing strategy. So now what? How long could Christian keep shaking her head and muttering “Jesus Christ” while wanting for another person to save her from this mess?
Roughly speaking, that’s where many folks are right about now. It’s turned out that Robert Mueller isn’t going to play savior after all. So who then? The Court for the Southern District of New York under U. S. Attorney Geoffrey Berman? Isn’t that part of the Department of Justice under Attorney General Robert Barr?
While it is be referred to by some as the “Sovereign” District of New York, but Berman is a former law partner of Rudy Giuliani who raised some eyebrows recently by indicting Trump nemesis Michael Avenatti. And he’s subject to being fired by Donald Trump. Is that the basket to which the eggs should be transferred?
Then there’s the new Attorney General for New York. Letitia James has made it clear that she’s going after Trump, his family, and anyone in his circle. Putting faith in investigations—where have I heard that before?
Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance indicted Paul Manafort on 16 felony charges literally minutes after a federal judge handed down his second prison sentence. Totally badass, admittedly, but that’s on Manafort. What else you got?
And congressional investigations from a host of House committees? As a general rule, Democrats in Congress tend to shy away from battles they can’t win, so removal of Trump through the impeachment process is unlikely, almost regardless of what is uncovered. Republicans, on the other hand, voted to repeal “Obamacare” dozens of times with no hope of ultimate success when they controlled the House, but they consistently play to their base. Democrats don’t, partly because they don’t seem to be sure who the base even is.
So that just leaves Christina on the floor looking at the plethora of candidates for the Democratic nomination in 2020, hoping one of them can help her clean up this mess. Pick wisely, girl, because otherwise Mommie’s next task is going to be pruning the rose garden.