I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a lot on my mind. Join me in prayer, won’t you?
Baylor. Ladies in sports always conjures up images of handsome women. You know the type. About as delicate as wrought iron. And when these women are associated with my alma mater, Baylor University, you know that they are girded with steel by the Word, praise the Lord. Clearly, the Lord has favored them, as they are the NCAA Champions in basketball. Now, I’m sure Baylor would like to honor these fine women, but the University has a strict policy of not recognizing its GLBT (glibbit?) students on campus. I hate to break it to the administration, but there’s probably a Lesbyterian Lady Bear Champion. If anyone at Baylor refuses to recognize these women, allow me to throw a party to introduce everybody. Sic ‘em!
Border. I wanted to let you all know that a former member of my church is now living in DC and working in home repair. I have just received word from him about his latest project. Apparently, there has been so much turnover at the White House, my Christian friend has been called in to make some necessary maintenance. This week, just as Sister Nielsen was leaving and Brother McAleenan was entering, the presidential playpen experienced a collapse of ingress and egress due to a weakened door jamb. I can proudly say that, thanks to the work of this fine young man, the house of white now has a brand new revolving door to accommodate the continuing in and out of staff. With a reinforced door jamb, so the “border is secure.” What a blessing!
Butt. One potential Presidential contender is continuing to catch my attention, if nothing else, for his last name. I don’t know how ANYONE could say “President Butt Gag” without smirking. (I have just been informed by my secretary that it is pronounced BOOT-EDGE-EDGE. Whatever.) The name just conjures up filth. Add to that the fact that this person is a known sodomite. AND his name is “Peter”. It really goes downhill. Still, in fairness, I’ve done some reading. (Know thine enemy.) Behold, Brother B is actually intelligent, has some good ideas and is as talented as the music director at my church. And he recently issued a verbal SNAP to VP Mike Penssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssse, saying that if Mikey has an “issue with who I am, your problem is not with me — your quarrel, sir, is with my Creator.” I never argue with God, so I shall still my tongue and say no more. Amen.