Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Stork. Stupid. Stewards.

What a week. Here are my Christian observations.

Stork.  Oh joyous news.  A stork delivery in the United Kingdom.  (I refuse to refer to this as a royal birth since it didn’t happen in a Bethlehem stable!)  Harry and Meghan Windsor announce the arrival of a boy who will be seventh in line to the throne.  (I was once seventh in line to a porcelain throne and I can attest that the wait is agonizing, but I digress.)  Of course, this child is a special baby in the Windsor circle.  His mommy is American and of mixed race.  Welcome to the new monarchy!  I won’t make personal comment on these facts, but I daresay that Queen Mary, who once had a conniption fit over Elizabeth marrying a man from an unseemly family, is raising a bony (literally) finger from the grave in protest.

Stupid.  Oh good Lord!  Did any of you witness the circus known, as the Met Gala?  I mean, REALLY!  It’s as if the invitation indicated attire as “try to outdo the next person.”  The theme this year was “Camp.”  I was expecting camouflage and tents.  I had to consult my dictionary to learn there’s another meaning of “camp.”  Again I say, GOOD LORD.  I don’t have enough space here to comment on all of the stupidity, but I suggest you look this up on the interwebs.  One article referred to “the best dressed at the Met Gala.”  BEST DRESSED?  How would you possible delineate between best dressed and worst dressed at a carnival like this?  I never thought I’d say this, but I long for the simple tastelessness of the Golden Globes’ red carpet.  Good Lord.

Stewards.  I have to state how much I enjoy the Kentucky Derby, simply it’s one day when I’m not the only woman wearing a hat.  I certainly do not condone the sin of gambling occurring at said event, but doesn’t everyone look good while sinning?  Of course, the big news of the day was the disqualification of the winning horse.  Aside from the gambling losses instigated by this decision, I’d like to analyze the alleged offense itself.  The horse in question, Maximum Security, was deemed by the Derby Stewards to have interfered with another horse during the race, thus causing a chain reaction of mishaps giving MS an unfair edge in winning.  I’m guessing he swung this horse hips a little too much in the last turn.  I’m hoping that the Stewards will expand their reach and disqualify a certain horse’s ass in DC from further work, but I’m sure the answer will be neigh.