Let us mourn. For celebrities and farmers.
Tragedy. Oh, Brothers and Sister, the tragedy of death has passed our way again in recent days. One of the last remaining stars of old went on to the great kennel in the beyond. Singer, actress, ingénue and dog lover, Doris Mary Ann von Kappelhoff has come to the end of her Day. Doris Day, singer of secret loves and lover of secret gays, she was known for her charming voice and many appearances in harmless “pajama films” with known sodomite, Rock Hudson. I applaud Sister vK Day for her seeming scandal free life, her commitment to our canine friends and her charming use of spiral staircases on television. Godspeed, Sister. Whatever will be, will be (translated from Mexican).
Tea. In another loss to a certain generation, Sister Peggy Lipton has left this mortal coil. Lest any of you young’uns confuse her for some sort of tea heiress, Sister Lipton had a heavy hand in breaking down racial barriers in Hollywood. As one third of the 1968 television hit, THE MOD SQUAD, Peggy fought crime with a hippie named Michael Cole and a black man named Clarence Williams III. So groundbreaking. And in an act of life imitating art, Sister Lipton married music producer Quincy Jones in an interracial marriage which surprised many at the time. Oh dear, sweet Peggy. A devoted mother to her daughters and a rebirth of fame in TWIN PEAKS. May you rest in peace in eternal reruns of THE GOD SQUAD.
Tariffs. And speaking of tea, Donnie Trump has been having a Boston Tea Party with Beijing. In an economic game of Russian roulette, America and China keep raising tariffs on each other’s imports/exports. However, the effect on our economy is backfiring. Farmers, already suffering financially, are now facing the brunt of these tariff sanctions. It’s as if Donnie shot a long range tax missile at China, but it landed in the American heartland. But look at the bright side, this will limit the number of “Made in China” stickers on our various trinkets and souvenirs, thus Making America Great Again. Pass the corn.