News and prayers at home and abroad.
Buckingham. God Save the Queen. Our illustrious leader and the First Harlot are on an official visit to the United Kingdom. Sister Betty Windsor is, of course, leading the hostess committee. I so wish I could have been at Buckingham Palace to witness what I believe will have been the strongest display of monarchy restraint since Queen Vickie first uttered the words “we are not amused.” In addition, Donald met with outgoing Prime Minister Teresa May which had to have been another showdown of manners, since Donnie is big buds with Terry’s arch nemesis, Boris Johnson. I’m sure it was all a jolly good time. Cheers!
Boris. Speaking of Brother Boris, he has announced his candidacy to replace Teresa May as Prime Minister. Let’s talk about this. Boris Johnson is a UK media whore, uh, personality who uses social media to further his cause. He has received support from Donald Trump. Boris is an unusually boorish man. Boris has a mess of blond hair. I think we all know the rest of the words to this song. Let us pray for the UK.
Bobby. Finally, Bobby Mueller gave his final interview regarding his book report on Russia and America. Essentially, Bobby declared that there was indeed proof of Russian meddling in the 2016 American presidential election. He also said that he could not bring judgment against Brother Don solely (allegedly) since it’s against the law to indict a sitting president. (Why didn’t he make him stand up then??) I don’t know about you, but this is the oddest version of vindication I’ve ever seen. Look, it is my duty to bring a Christian perspective to the news, so let me put this all in biblical terms. When Pontius Pilate had Jesus brought before him in judgment, Pilate declined to find any fault in the man despite the call from the masses to indict him. And we all know how that story turned out. Therefore, I am having three crosses constructed on a Hill called Capital, and I’m brushing up on my rendition of “If I Had a Hammer.” Stay tuned.