Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Mission, Minister & Mindless

From the earth to the heavens, opportunities for prayer are all around us this week.

Mission. Fifty years ago this past weekend, our country completed a foreign mission trip which surpassed all others. With the help of many very smart people, and a host of love offerings, a spaceship delivered three men to the surface of the moon. Alas, there was no one there with whom to share the gospel message, but all who saw it happen bore witness to its ministry. Lord Almighty, if we have put a man on the moon, surely, yes surely, these 50 years later, we can find a way to rocket certain politicians on a one way trip into space. Now THAT would be one giant leap for mankind!

Minister. Let us bow our heads in prayer for the people of Britain. In an effort to be more American-like, they have elected a blunt blond as their governmental leader. Brother Boris Johnson is the new Prime Minister and really one-ups our President in foreign relations with the fact that even Brother Johnson’s first name is Russian. We The People join hands with our brothers and sisters across the pond in solidarity of prayer for the future of our countries. Meanwhile, Sister Betty Windsor was heard in the Buckingham Bedroom uttering a single word which is unprintable in my column but rhymes with, and looks a lot like, sit.

Mindless. From our Father of the Year department, Brother Tom Brady has gone from deflatable balls to indefensible parenting. Tommy posted a video on his Instantgram account from his recent family vacation to an unknown locale. Standing on a cliff at the edge of a waterfall cascading into a natural pool, Brother Brady and his pre-adolescent daughter are seen jumping from said cliff into the aforementioned pool. Or rather, Tom dragging his offspring with him off the cliff. While the episode ended joyfully, the visual of this mindless feat is horrifying at best. To make things work, in a video posted to Faceplace from a previous 2015 vacation to Costa Rica, Tommy commented “never doing that again.” Liar, liar, pants on fire.