Hail to the Chiefs!
President. God bless former President Jimmy Carter. I have always been a fan because he’s a fellow Babatist. But his continued dedication to living out the gospel is an inspiration. Lo, at the advanced age of 94, Brother Jimmy and his lovely wife are still active in their ministry with Habitat for Humanity. Even after a fall this week, leaving Jimmy with a black eye and stitches, he was still back on a jobsite helping build a house. Jimmy Carter is truly living as Jesus Christ would have him live. I find it no coincidence that the two of them have the same initials. Jimmy well may be one of the few mortals who will be worthy to use the heavenly monogrammed towels when he reaches the Pearly Gates. Glory!
President. Famed lesbyterian and talk show mogul, Ellen DeGenerate, was recently photographed with her co-fornicator, Portia DeRossi, at a Dallas Cowboys football game. Lesbyterians and sports. I’m shocked. What I find most interesting is that she was in a box with a Bush (biting my tongue). Why would a fine conservative stalwart like former President George W. Bush be seen sitting with these two noted sinners? Apparently, the liberals are astounded for reverse reasons. I say, let this be a teaching moment for all of us, myself included. In this era where our country is in an unparalleled “us vs. them” mindset, let us try to see past politics and “be ye kind one to another” as the scripture tells us. Otherwise, I’m going to have to burn a lot of photos of me ministering to sodomites, and I’m trying to be good to the environment. Praise!
President. This just in. President Donald Trump has revealed his favorite and least favorite Broadway musicals. At the top of the list is the rather obscure 1980 show, A DAY IN HOLLYWOOD/A NIGHT IN THE UKRAINE. While Donny consistently enjoys this rarely seen show, he has likewise stated his utter disdain for the Stephen Sondheim classic, ANYONE CAN WHISTLE. Quite frankly, I’d like to take him to a production of a musical good for the entire family. Perhaps “JAMES AND THE GIANT (im)PEACH? I need to see if the tour will be at the Ford’s Theater in DC anytime soon. Showtime!