Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Splurge, Space & Spats

It’s Ladies’ week here at The 701 Club.

Splurge.  Sister Miley Cyrus is in the news again.  This time, I would like to honor something she has recently confessed.  After years of splurging on alcohol and drugs, she is now 4 months clean and sober.  I truly pray for her continued sobriety.  I’m just glad to know that she was indeed messed up, lo these many years.  I’d hate to think that riding a wrecking ball and vacillating from Brother Hemsworth to some female tramp then on to that Australian lothario Cody Simpson was behavior exercised under full faculty and mindfulness.  Nonetheless, while Miley is working her 4th step, I intend to offer balm and supplication to Brother Hemsworth in his time of healing.  Praise!

Space.  Let us rejoice in celebration of the first all-female astronaut spacewalk.  It’s truly a blessing when fellow Sisters-in-Christ get closer to heaven, no matter the means.  All hail Sisters Christina Koch and Jessica Meir, whose space mission was related to a minor repair on the space station.  And now, brothers and sisters, allow me to reveal why women were sent for this job.  They were replacing a battery.  And no one is more versed in batteries than unmarried women.  One side note in this story is that Sister Koch “was actually able to ride on the end of the robotic arm…”, indicating to me that she was unable to take her OWN batteries to the stratosphere.  Glory!

Spats.  Rumor from across the pond is that there is friction between sisters-in-law, Kate and Meghan Mountbatten.  I know not the cause of said friction, nor do I really care.  But let me say this, there is nothing more unpleasant that two potential queens going at it for some perceived pettiness.  Trust me, I’ve witnessed such and it’s really a mess.  Cheers, ladies!