Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Author. Affair. Advent.

Shall we gather at the throne of grace for these matters?

Author. For years, scholars have debated the authorship of books in the Bible. Some parts of the Bible have always just been accepted as written by those “inspired of the Lord.” Therefore, evangelical Christians tout the tome as truth. Now that a book about our mighty President is being published with its author unknown, some of these same Christians are proclaiming the book to be nothing but lies. I shall refrain from comment other than to say that I find another parallel in the title of the upcoming literary work. It will be called “A Warning.” Verily, I say unto you, the Bible could be subtitled the same. Amen?

Affair. McDonald’s CEO, Steve Easterbrook, has stepped down as leader of the fast food empire after admitting to a consensual relationship with an employee. I smell something akin to a week-old Filet-O-Fish here. A publicly-traded company is willing to let its CEO go, knowing how this may affect profits, simply because of some internal quid pro quo hanky panky? Clearly, there is something else hiding in the grease trap about this. For now, the executive suite is being rearranged for new meat, something that has been needed regarding a Big Mac for a long time now. Still, I find it interesting that the employee in question was not named. I daresay it could have been Brother Steve’s secretary or a 16-year old in braces selling her Happy Meal. Let us pray.

Advent. Once a year, Christians join as one to honor the birth of our Lord and Savior. While no one knows the exact date of His birth (since calendars had not been invented yet), it is universally celebrated on December 25. Advent (you Episcopalians are familiar with this) is the anticipation of the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event. And according to tradition, Advent begins four Sundays before the aforementioned December 25th date. THEREFORE, it is positively unbiblical for Wal-Mart to display Christmas decorations in October. The same goes for Neiman Marcus. I don’t care the budget, put that crap away until I, finish my Thanksgiving leftovers and light my first candle. Gloria in Excelsis Deo!

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