Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Clueless, Crisco & Cohen

Hearken ye to these concerns and crises.

Clueless.  I’ve seen enough episodes of THE CROWN to know that that big Queen in London likes to keep family issues quiet at any cost.  Princess Diana riled things up by being so open to the press and she certainly got the royal cold shoulder over her coffin when she passed.  Just makes me wonder how QE the 2nd is handling her 2nd son’s recent public interview about his friendship with the late J. Epstein, Duke of Chicks.  Prince Andy has proven himself to be His Royal Cluelessness regarding his ability to assuage ill feelings toward him and his alleged dalliances at the Underage Palace.  I daresay that his Mum is ready to backhand him with a jeweled scepter and the Monarchy PR Machine is spinning faster than a Maytag with a load of towels.  Cheers!

Crisco.  I try to maintain a diet of healthy foods even when making my way down a church covered dish buffet.  I never eat fried chicken at one of those events since I can’t be sure that the Sister who made it didn’t fry with used grease.  You can understand, then, my reticence to dining at any fast food establishment, particularly one featuring Chicken a la Crisco.  Which leads to my lack of concern over the charitable activities of Chick-Fil-A.  Chiefly, I can’t care much about a company that can’t spell its own titled product.  So, until they start donating to literacy causes, I don’t give a rat’s butt where they send their money.  And speaking of rat’s butts, I’d think twice before biting into that closed-on-Sunday-sandwich!

Cohen.  As if we don’t have enough trash on TV, famed Jewish Sodomite, Andy Cohen, is revving up for a new version of his reality-franchised garbage.  Next comes “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.”  Great.  How successful can this be?  I mean, after the first episode showing one of these harlots crying about how her Mormon husband is a homosexual, what’s left to talk about?  There won’t be another housewife in town who’ll have any different drama to discuss.  Except maybe who is secretly buying Mormon underwear at Victoria’s Secret.  And even THAT will circle back to the husbands!  Help us all.