Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Music, Missions & Michigan

I had to take last week off, but am refreshed to attack today’s news.

Music.  In my continuing ministry relating to Hollyweird awards programs, I must offer prayerful commentary on the latest display of filth, the Grammy Awards.  Let me be up front that I did not view this particular parade of debauchery, so my commentary is informed by reports and the Lord’s guidance.  Having said that, who ARE these people?  Billy Eyelash?  Lezzo (which seems like a rude name).  And what is a demi-lovato?  Is it more than a semi-lovato?  Praise the Lord that Sister Tanya Tucker won an award.  I’ve always loved her ministry since she recorded a gospel album.  But Sister…….you’re fast going from Delta Dawn to Omega Twilight as the years pass.  Lord!

Missions.  There hasn’t been an effective Babatist missionary in China since Lottie Moon (look it up, you heathens).  I’ve often thought of expanding my reach to the Chinese just to see if my church would start a Christmas offering in my name, but I digress.  Now, any future ministry to the land of moo goo gai pan will have to wait in light of the outbreak of Corona virus.  As a Babatist, my concern of contracting said virus is low, since I don’t drink beer.  However, as a missionary, I would have to come in contact with lowlife, drunks and sots of all kinds, so I’ll hold off for now.  Lord help us if there’s ever a LeSueur virus, or my green pea salad will knock off legions at the next church covered dish supper!

Michigan.  The Catholics are freaks.  There, I said it.  Long-time followers of my ministry know of my fervent belief that only Babatists are going to heaven, but leaders in the big CC just keep adding fuel to my faith.  A priest in Michigan has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for wrapping a teenage boy in bubble wrap back in 2013.  (Justice delayed?)  Rev. Brian Stanley of St. Margaret Church in Allergan, Michigan was supposed to be counseling a 15-year old parishioner but instead wrapped the boy in bubble wrap and tape in a janitor’s room at the church.  What a freak.  My prayer is for this young man.  May he never have to ship any fragile items in his lifetime.  Trauma can rear its ugly head at the worst times.