Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Stimulus. Stir. Status.

Let us gather in virtual prayer over these matters.

Stimulus.  Manna from Heaven!  Our esteemed leader has signed an Act which will send money to any citizen who made less than a certain amount of money over the past couple of years.  While it would be easy for me to decry this as socialism, there are many of the poor who could use these alms.  And, praise the Lord, due to my status as a religious organization, so much of my income has been hidden, even I will receive this offering (less 10% which goes to my church as a tithe).  Let us rejoice in a free $1,200 check and pray for those rich people who, without this check, will have to settle for a simple multi-million dollar tax break. 

Stir.  I have been doing my best to “shelter-in-place,” even though I have always felt sheltered in the arms of the Lord or in the cleft of the rock.  I have been using the time for prayer and reflection.  I have cleaned out my prayer request box and my kitchen drawers.  But brothers and sisters, I need to be honest.  I’m starting to get stir crazy.  I am unable to touch others the way I always have  and yet so many need my anointing.  Perhaps I will replace my anointing oils with Purell.  Whatever, I need to get out.  Let’s face it…..Christ himself could only stay in his grave for three days!  Lord, hear our prayer.

Status.  I spend so much time now on the Faceplace to pass the time.  I tire of seeing so many status updates containing “authorities” on public health, political opinions, threats to end the world if I don’t pass something on, or personal surveys containing information for which I will never use or care.  But what is REALLY getting to me lately is all the commentary about some program about a tiger keeper.  Listen, I read this story in a magazine last year.  I don’t need to see the physical manifestations of this filth on my not-so-smart TV.  Lord!  I can run to the Wal-Mart if I want to see toothless trash and bad haircuts!