Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

So Many Bananas!

Do you love bananas?

Perhaps you’re more of an eggplant aficionado.

Or maybe you’re perfectly fine with a teeny-tiny pickle.

Of course, it’s entirely possible you prefer a couple of ripe melons and a big juicy taco. And that’s OK.

When it comes to sexuality and food innuendo, anything goes. The same can be said for what you see on-screen at the HUMP! Film Festival, one of our favorite things to write about because it’s So. Much. Fun.

Last month, we encouraged you to submit a film to the amateur porn festival from Dan Savage, which is still taking submissions through September 15. In that story, we also mentioned that one of the perks of making a naughty movie for this festival is that it will never appear online.

Well, that all changed because of our old friend COVID-19.

Now, for the first time ever you can watch the 17 short films of this year’s festival in the comfort of your living room. Or bedroom. Online. On a computer. But don’t worry, the festival organizers got permission from everyone who submitted a film and they each agreed to let it all hang out for the greater good of curing our horny boredom. So, yay!

Seems like a perfect solution because, well, porn and the privacy of your own home go hand in hand. Sometimes literally.

So buy a ticket for one of seven screenings between Saturday, May 9 and Friday, June 12. They’re only $25, which is quite a deal if you’re sheltering in place with more than one person. (“Hey, Mom! There’s something you’ve gotta see!”)

Make a movie while you’re in isolation and you could win $500!

And while we’re talking festivals, there’s a new Confinement Online Film Festival from the same creators as HUMP! and SPLIFF seeking submissions now through May 15. $1500 in prizes are up for grabs, plus filmmakers get to share in 20% of the profits from tickets sold to the streaming event.

Extra credit items to include in your film include toilet paper, hand sanitizer and dried beans (which all three seem cruel to require for extra credit items because these things are still impossible to find in many places, but oh well.)

Tap into your inner Steven Spielberg and make a quarantine movie, your inner ChiChi LaRue and choreograph an adult flick, or your inner Paul Reubens and sit in the dark to stare at naked people onscreen. You have so many options. Choose one, two or all three.

Isolation can be so much fun!

Hump! Film Festival Live Streaming Events
Starring Dan Savage
Seven screenings
Saturday, May 9 through Friday, June 12
Submit your films for the 16th annual fest

Confinement Online Film Festival
Accepting submissions through Monday, May 15
Full details at thestranger.com

Photo and film festival preview video courtesy of HUMP! Film Festival